230 (and then some)Days of "Strawberry Jam" without "J"
Dear Jam,
Strawberry Jam sweetness started early in the morning when you asked me to rub our noses together, saying "Mommy, noshe noshe."You were the little helper to me today, thank you. Though we were doing a balancing act with you on my knee as I had to hold the water dispenser down and your bottle to prepare your milk, I couldn't complain because you were too sweet.
We were supposed to go to celebrate Ninang Charissa's birthday at their place but that was far and the party won't be until three in the 
afternoon, my shift, exactly! So I felt a little devastated. If that's right to say. I wanted to see her, especially since it was her birthday! Due to that we left home early and finally, passing by the apartment where Tita Dana and Kuya Gabe lived, I decided that we should pay them a little visit. It wasn't enough to pay off my feelings of excitement to attend Ninang Charissa's Pizza Party but it sufficed to becalm my longing for my college friends; Tita Dana, Ninang Hazel and Tita Mia. Kuya Gabe was sweet. Not that I am comparing him to your other acquaintances but I think he rather has an advantage being a lot older than you. This made your interaction with him easier and the two of you instantly clicked. Tita Dana recalled Iago's first birthday where the three of your first met, you, Iago and Kuya Gabe. The mommies were taking turns who among their boys' kiss you would be receptive to. Tita Dana remembered that you weren't as warm to Gabe as you were with little Iago. But that has changed today and this piece of picture where the two of you seem peaceable is proof enough. We couldn't stay long though, Tita Dana hoped you could have so she could take out the toys and have you play with Kuya Gabe and his cousins.
I have to apologize with how I can be rather complacent with this fickle weather sometimes. I 
had a nagging feeling, I tell you. It was warning me to bring an umbrella in our person but I dismissed that seeing as the sun was high up, in fact blazing down upon us. Darned it! I should have listened to my good voice because before we reached the drop off point at the cafe, cats and dogs fell down without so much as a drizzle for a warning. Anyway, I had to improvise. I couldn't just let another irresponsibilty lead to another and get you sick so though we looked unforgivably laughable, I went with it anyway. I taped up a clean spare of diaper and wore it on your head as if it was a cap. We got the laughs but more of the concern actually that the kind lady who I used to find annoying with her unabashed remarks about you, me, Daddy, the people in the FoodHauz, took us in for a bit of shelter in her meager bananaque stall. She lent us with albeit battered and handle-less umbrella, it was helpful of her nonetheless. But just for laughs, I didn't take the diaper "cap" of to show Mamala and Papalo how unconventionally fashionable you still could be.
At work, I was ambivalent when I got online. I was happy to see all of Tita Vanessa's lovely comments about you, on our Facebook page and in my Facebook. Like Tita Jet, she also left a comment solely meant for your eyes and it's something you should read when you grow up. We were also talking about having certain dreams of each other. Funny that last week Friday, I dreamt of her. We were with Mamala and Nohnong, although I didn't see Nohnong's face driving in the front but I was sure that we were on our way to send Mamala off to the airport. It was today that I read Tita Vani's message telling me that she dreamt about me. She didn't tell me when or what exactly happened in the dream so I cannot interpret what it means. It's pleasantly strange to dream of each other after another. I just have a feeling that we have a shared emotion of wanting to see each other and reconnect, reestablish and reconcile after the minute misunderstanding. As that made me happy, here is your Ate Jazel and the problem with her lovelife. Now after Ate Nikki and Ate Jea, and before you, I spent my time lavishing Ate Jazel as if she were my daughter. That is the reason why she calls me and Daddy "Mommy" and "Daddy". I am not angry with her but I just hate what the "men in her life" are doing to her. I don't want to comment anymore. I'll leave it to words when I see her soon in Cavite and those men better hide, or else...well, you get the idea. Other than that, I spent sometime to add a Facebook LIKE button from Blogspot and it will appear when readers will view the blog.
You have new clothes, thanks to Mamala. When she dressed you up with this red-and-white 
checks, you gestured to go down to the cafe, saying "poshe" to pose for my camera. You didn't pose but it was a good way to lure Mamala to get you to bother me. But you weren't a bother, you were just a little too insistent for the whole cafe to bear your screaming of "Meemeen Meemen" to watch me play PET SOCIETY. You also told me, pointing at your dress that when Nahnang sees it, she will say "Hi" to you. Your words exactly, "Nahnang desh. Hi baby!" and even changed your voice to mimic Nahnang's pitch as it goes up when she speaks to you.
ACCORDING TO MAMALA:
You sang the song "Maria Clara". I really don't what that is. Don't get me wrong, I know who Maria Clara is but I haven't been recently updated since we don't have local channels, so I can only nod and appreciate the idea that you can sing to anything. She also said that when Nohnong came to greet you, you gave him the cold shoulder and that "sidelong glance". Hahah! Nohnong loves you as everyone, he even said "Good girl" when he heard that you drank and finished three bottles of milk today. That was on our way home where you also insisted that Mcky D's is "Jabee" too, saying "Jabee, 'Do, nanam". You must have tried to convince us that wherever there is food, be it McDonald's or Jollibee, it's still "Jabee". Ok. Hahahah!
Well, as usual you wouldn't hit the sack when I would have wanted a precious eye shut. You had 
too much energy going on. When we arrived, you took your Cars slip-ons
, wore them on and if that didn't fancy you, you banged them together like gloves in your hands just so they would light up. That's what they do, which you like the most, they light up. Anyways. I watched STRANGER THAN FICTION for myself while I left your in own devices. Once in a while I would catch you play "Mommy" with Crookshanks as you pretended with it how I usually tell you quietly off at night if you didn't want to sleep. I heard you say "Goodnight" to Crookshanks, being as it was the only audible and discernible sound, which was followed by mutters and you lying down on your pillow with your hand hiding your face. Then you would do it again and it was there that it came to me that you were acting as I would tell you "You don't want to sleep? Bahala ka. I will sleep now." and then pretend to sleep. Hahah! I didn't say anything about it and smiled about it to myself inwardly. Soon you got tired of being "Mommy" to Crookshanks so decided to play "Mommy" to Yayt, our cat lamp. You swayed it in your embrace as I would when I lull you to sleep in my arms. You improvised by singing Yayt a lullaby of your own "Bee bee bee bee Yayt. Bee bee bee bee Yayt. Meemeen." Your words exactly. I should have taken a video!
JaMOVIE: Pan's Labyrinth (with English Subtitles) FOUR STARS
I am sorry, this wasn't a movie for you. I had thought so and I am terribly sorry. But it was a nice story and I had to talk you throughout the movie so you wouldn't feel afraid. I didn't want to continue it but we didn't have a choice. It's not that it is child unfriendly in a sense of it being filled with paranormal fiends but because it was rapt with human violence. It was graphic. I soon found myself immersed than you were, playing with your books rather listlessly about the movie. It's a Spanish film and it brings two stories together, fantasy and reality. Remember when Daddy told me that I should fear people more of their capacities of evil than fear the third kind of their possible evils? This story just echoes Daddy's words. Here was Spain in the middle of a war with revolutionaries and then here was a little girl Ofelia in a quest of finding herself back into the enchanted world she once lived in so long ago. It's called Pan's Labyrinth as Ofelia is brought to a labyrinth, where dwells a Faun. Ofelia happens to
be connected to the war as her mother remarries the bloodthirsty Spanish captain, carrying his son. It's just gruesome but whoever has the endurance to withstand (censored) bloodshed will surely not be disappointed of the ending. Thanks to Ice Cream flavored OREOS, you didn't fuss much unless Pan came up with his creepy tree-like raspy bass.
JAMantic of the Day:
To divert you from the graphic images of Pan's Labyrinth, I had your ride my legs, hoisting you up and down with it. You're quite heavy though you don't look it and it gets tiring on the legs to lift you up and down. So I said, "Last one, Kitten please?" and you nodded your head, put your hand up for "one" and said "Lats." I also feel ashamed how you had to remind me to say goodnight to Daddy after we finished praying. You said, "Daddy?" as if to tell me "What about Daddy?". Thank you!
Your Mommy,
231 (and then some)Days of "Strawberry Jam" without "J"
Dear Jam,
Together now! "Happy Birthday Nahnang!Happy Birthday Nahnang!Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!Happy Birthday Nahnang!" Unfortunately for our surprise though, she wasn't around when we burst into Lolo's hospital room with the pizza and ice cream. She had to be sent to run Lolo's PHILHEALTH requirements. But it wasn't a total loss when she told me later on. We'll get to that onwards the end though.
First, about you. Yes. Sorry, you had ice cream. Although right now enjoying this cup, you or your cough aren't complaining. This is your second helping of ice cream actually. You had one from my plate but since you kept pointing the "Jabee" on the cup and wouldn't stop from doing so, Mamilou gave you a separate share, with your own spoon. Not only that, you were also kind enough to share a bite with anyone else who came to ask. You gave Lolo a scoop and though I didn't ask for it, you gave me some. I had to push the offers away, my own cough has gotten worse when yours has gotten better. But I think that is better than the other way around. Yeah.
Tita-Ninang-"Jabee"-Ma'am-Deen was there for awhile and before her shift. Though you have taken a liking to take her picture, she still couldn't seem to get your attention. Or maybe you're just like that to other people when I am around. You seem to give everyone their "Nahh!" than a kiss from you, which they much rather prefer. I told her to try and offer you food, off Mamilou's can of Pringles. You acquiesced for awhile but when she ran out of time to give you some off it, you ran out of time giving her anymore of your sweetness. Nahnang finally came around before 
Tita-Ninang-"Jabee"-Ma'am-Deen could leave the building. She looked like a bearer of bad news when she arrived, Nahnang. On her birthday, ironically. However, the bad news was not for her. It was for Lolo's messy PHILHEALTH records where there is a confusion with his real name between ARMAND and ARMANDO. That's going to take sometime, being as it is a National ID, it's important to place the accurate information based on other National IDs. Anyway, so Nahnang's birthday gift? *sigh* Had I been in her shoes, in her age, in her...err well, self, I would be happy too. Elated. Ecstatic. What have you? When you were barely walking, we brought you to Eco-Church early in the morning for the Simbang Gabi. This nine-day pre-Christmas devotion has been rather special for Nahnang and even more so will be this year's. What she encountered today has something to do with that. Sorry, I won't say any further! Hahah!
It was all fine and dandy before I went online and opened my Facebook. I was met with the most devastating news about your Ate Nikki. I respect her family's decision not to tell anyone but I have to tell this out, right her somehow, seeing as I have no one else to talk to and share it. She may just be suffering a kind of cancer other than the supposed diagnosis of TB. I don't know what to think. We have lost touch for quite sometime, your Ate Nikki and I but that will not take away the fact that I love her as much as I am responsible for her as her Aunt and Godmother. You see, when I was younger and innocent, unhurt but idealistic, I promised her and your Ate Jea that I would send them off to college. That didn't happen. I was lost. There was a rift in the family relationship and our sweet little trio, Ate Nikki, Ate Jea and I, had to break up. I want to take this chance to reach out to her again but it's just difficult right now, with my health and yours. I don't want to contract something that may affect you. So we will see how we can help.
Thankfully, I was cheered by a comment from Tita Jet. In fact she left the note for you and I will leave you to read it when you're big enough. I also got a little comment from Tita Joanna who said I was having diabetes withStrawberry Jam already. Hahah! Yeah. She got that right. I am and I won't deny that. I was just so busy answering emails, messages, texting and well, I'm sorry I lagged on our blog. I wasn't able to put up an entry. So I'm going to do a lot of back tracking what with the days I wasn't online. It took me quite sometime to make another page and this is for my photography. I had HOLLYWOOD FX before and since I've been doing a lot of experimental photography, which takes up a lot of my personal album space in Facebook, I will want the page to store just that. I finally uploaded the shoot we had with Tita Sheena for her birthday; EightSHEEN Pre-Debut Photoshoot.
JaMOVIE: Golden Christmas
I can say that you aren't much of a dog lover as much as (much as very much) of a cat lover. The movie poster as well as DVD cover is rather misleading. The only time these cute little pups came around was at the end and they probably only had about five minutes in the whole movie. Tuh! I was terribly disappointed, I tell you. The story is actually really nice but how they covered it in the movie, how they arranged the thrill and suspense of revelations didn't work well with the director in me. Other than the fact that the only actor I practically recognized there was the man who played Senator Kelly in X-Men and X-Men II, there wasn't much to it. It was too slow-paced leaning to boring and hadn't you willed to stay up late, I wouldn't have endured it. I think I lasted thru it too because I am a total sucker for everything Christmas-ey and well, dogs.
JAMantic of the Day:
At home, preparing to leave early to buy pizza and ice cream, your sharp wits and keen observation found my spare sanitary pad in my bag. When you said "Mommy pampos" I finally understood what you meant when you rode on the pad as if it were a horse, or as if you were wiping yourself with it. With it you patted my groin and said "O, Mommy pampos" hahaha Mommy's pampers, you mean? You started early, actually after bath saying "taposh" as soon as you finished with your luxurious bubble bath and delightful shower. You were also kind enough to give me the sneezing clothe, saying "noshe" when I sneezed so loud. AND. AND. I don't know where you got it but you just started doing the "Hahaha hihihi hoohoohoo" like a Lamaze breathing excersise. Wherever did you get that? :DD
Your Mommy,
<---(On our way home, you took fancy on the swinging necklace with the ball pendant. You were screaming with delight, shrieking everytime it swung to your hand as you said "Ball. Ball. Ball".) (It took you time to sleep and you insisted to hold on to your book as I rubbed your back to sleep. You eventually slept with it in your arms is if it was any of your stuffed animals. Below.)
232 (and then some)Days of "Strawberry Jam" without "J"
Dear Jam,
There's a good girl, drinking up her medication by herself. I just hope this cough of yours would go away soon. It's going to be a week tomorrow and that's just about seven days of Cefalexin.
As opposed to yesterday's long and busy day, today was rather slow and laid back. We woke up quite late in Kauswagan though Nahnang had hoped to get back to hospital before nine AM. But you turned in rather earlier in the morning than later in the evening that you wouldn't have waken up if I didn't stir you up by noon. It was a hot day today maybe that too, slowed us down. But we took it one step at a time, besides, the cafe was closed for the preemptive Holiday and I didn't need to rush with our schedule. Tomorrow is the actual holiday, Bonifacio Day. But since Former President Arroyo's time where they have been moving National Holidays commemoration from weekdays or days between working days, we have simply adopted. They see it as less hassle and it makes the weekend longer so everyone has seemed to agree. Anyway, it's still holiday for you and I tomorrow as well as Nahnang, Mamilou and Lolo because we're going to celebrate Nahnang's 21st birthday! In the hospital. That is.
Early in the morning, I received a text message from Papalo of their intent to fetch you from the pad. Had that been the case, you would have been with them the soonest they could drive by but we were still in Kauswagan where we ran out of milk, diapers, and clean spare clothes. That's why we went home to the pad first, took a good clean shower, ate lunch and watched one of the DVD titles we borrowed from the library in Kauswagan. I had taken the liberty to take INCEPTION, which I haven't seen since it's release date, GOLDEN CHRISTMAS, whose actors I am vaguely familiar of, and SANTA PAWS, which was cutest of the bunch. Naturally, I played that.
JAMovie: SANTA PAWS, Disney Home Videos
I wasn't kind to it as it played for the first twenty minutes. Being a critic and all. The cinematography was mediocre, the effort to make it a musical didn't sit well with me and their Santa...well, he just freaked me out. He had these darkness in his eyes and around his eyes that just felt creepy to me. It felt awkward and off. Then later on, as "Paws", the main dog character, was introduced, I felt warmer and receptive to it. It's a little adventure of Paws and Santa separately. How they were brought together, how they became "best buds" in the first place was thanks to an Ambassador for Christmas in New York City, Mr. Hucklebuckle. But Mr. Hucklenbuckle had just recently passed away BUT bequeathed Santa a stuffed dog. A magic crystal that connects Santa, the magic icicle and Paws brought Paws to life. According to you? "Wow!" you just say it everytime the magic crystal spins with its golden glitters and "Wow!" indeed. I wonder how you see it with your eyes because as for me, I haven't said a one good "Wow!" recently. What made me warm up to it, more than Paws is how they incorporated a couple more than one story to the whole plot. While the main story was going on, in another part of the Big Apple, a new orphan girl finds herself needy of happiness not only for herself but for the other orphans as well. Then just a couple of blocks away from that, we find the very store of the late Mr.Hucklebuckle, run now by his living heirs. Basically, the story brings them together to a pleasant and heart-warming conclusion. It's quirky. That's one thing to look forward to. Especially those three other dogs who are given some character with their voice accents, there was a Scottish dog, a Manhattan dog, and well, Jamaican with all the dread locks and "ya man!". ;)
You were a good girl to me today, you know? You followed every specific instruction I had for you without a fuss. Thank you. You don't know how much that means to 
me when you behave.
So I guess you deserved "one more" and even more "one more" ride up on my legs when you asked me, with your finger pulled up to one with "one mall". You did it to Crookshanks when you arrived, gave your favorite stuffed cat a little lift with your feet and then up. You enjoy it so much, you scream with exhilaration when you are hoisted. Well, thank God for that means you aren't afraid of heights. I have a little fear of heights for all different reasons but not specifically of heights. Do you know that Daddy said he is afraid of water? 
Ironically that he works so near to everything that is aqueous. Hahah! 
Nah! He's just buttering me up, I bet.
Being a good girl and all, I allowed you to stay up late. I was also checking if my suppositions that your body clock has indeed changed, is correct. I left you alone to shove books right under the bed, like they were cookies going into the oven. I left you to go over the pictures of your Treasury of Fairytales book and name them with insignificant syllables that to you meant words. I also left you to bother me about drawing little cats on your tiny digits as I took notes in our journal. When the energy finally started to wear off, you laid on your back as you slowly counted the faces of kittens on your hand while I rubbed your baby tummy until you fell fast asleep at 
three in the morning.
There's this mystery though that I cannot seem to put my nose into. I cannot seem to find the lock of your right earring. It may have been lost anywhere, I am just thankful that it withstood your ear without falling off for loss of lock. Hmm. Now, we have to improvise. I don't want you looking like a little "gangsta" with one earring on or leave the hole gaping for sometime, as it works like a wound, it can close up anytime. We don't want that happening now, do we?
JAMantic of the Day:
At Carmen, you were quite the charmer for the "3 O'Clock Prayer" was on the TV upon arriving. You nudged Lolo to turn you to the TV, made the sign of the cross and 
mumbled as if you were praying the exact words right off the prayer. You did this reminder to me tonight, too. Thank you! When I told you to turn in you said "Amen, amen." to tell me that we hadn't done that yet. Even before we made the sign of the cross, you told me "abay" pointing my spot in bed so I would lie down to pray. Daddy should be happy to know that eversince you were taught to pray, you and I have been saying "goodnight" and "I love you" to Daddy.
Your Mommy,
233 (and then some)Days of "Strawberry Jam" without "J"
Dear Jam,
This is probably the longest of our longest days so far. And yet the best of my photoshoots yet! It was a busy day and I had thought it wouldn't be because it wasn't until later after we woke up did I receive a message from Tita Sheena that we were to pursue with her pre-debut shoot. I was a little lazy today; my cough was dragging my mind to limbo and here you were, demanding your favorite "eyesh" sunglasses, which you seemed to have left in Carmen. I was going to check out from my promise of being patient as I was antsy everytime you screamed at me to hold up, the only other pair of sunglasses you had left, close to your now as it oft slid down.
You seemed sweet at home, asking politely for my Watermelon Body mist after I spritzed myself with it. You mimicked the sound of the spritz, pretending that you were actually doing it. But then you were back to your naughty 
twirly-wirly, kicking at me if you didn't get what you wanted. When we 
reached the relocation, I decided that things might as well not go as planned. Tita Sheena wasn't there yet and you made a nice gravy in your diaper that I had surrendered too soon. After I committed everything to God, tired of handling everything as I expected my own capacity to make, that's when things started to play rather well. With nowhere decent to wash you near the vicinity of the beach, we took a "sikad" ride to Ninang Mayang's, which was just about a few miles from the Raagas beach. Thankfully, they were around this time. We spent sometime with Angel, warring a tug on her books again although she offered after her Dad reminded her what he would do when she misbehaved. We waited for Tita Sheena and their parents as we gave in to Angel's offer of a book and once in a while, you looked on her and her sister, your namesake, Louise. I was ashamed when I found out from Ninang Mayang that Tita Sheena and her parents had run late because they had to attend mass and the anniversary celebration of Monseigneur Monsanto, a beloved Catholic leader in our city. I wanted to hide myself in a paper bag - until recently, handling and organizing events, I have become such a perfectionist, I was always keen about promptness and punctuality. I had forgotten that this was all about having to enjoy, relish the life of a person who is about to celebrate their birthday and in this case, it was Tita Sheena.
The plan to move the location from Molugan to Raagas didn't even matter because we ended up in sweet old hometown anyway. The Raagas beach was pouring with people as far as the beach stretched while our Beach '88 was ours for the taking. One twist to this day that I greatly appreciate is the sudden and unexpected addition of Ninang Hazel who joined us with their baby James. We were joined by, other than the day's model Tita Sheena, their Mom, Dad, Ninang Mayang and Angel, and Ninang Hazel with James. So we were one big, happy family in that big van where Mamilola Daisy, Ninang Mayang's and Tita Sheena's mom bought us some grapes, which you munched down one after the other. Angel and James didn't enjoy it as much as you, perhaps because you didn't eat as much in lunch as the other two would have.
I have to say, I love this photo session. It's strange in a way because Tita Sheena isn't even my model, she is my client. Perhaps that's why she didn't have inhibitions because she knew this was for herself anyway. In fairness to my models, that's what I mean. She wasn't as shy because she knew what she wanted for her birthday, what she wanted to look like and I say she was rather comfortable wherever I asked her to pose. We had gone from the sun, to the rocks, to the sand, to the water and to seaweeds. Now the fun part is having you, Angel and James 
around. I am not complaining and I didn't complain there back in the set even if James added more footprints on the sand than I had planned. You were all lovely additions to my outtakes and behind-the-scenes shots! That is to include Ninang Mayang chasing after Angel and Ninang Hazel stopping James from touching Tita Sheena's legs. Yeap. James was running amok, if you may have it. Hahah! He was either touchy with Tita Sheena, attempting to kiss Angel, or err...well, he got to kiss you actually. You didn't protest. I did, inwardly but to speak malice of it may only arouse 
malice. You know. We all decided that since it was the beach, that it was right enough to allow you to swim. It was your first time to really step into the water by yourself. The first time you were acquainted to the beach, you were reluctant to climb down from either Auntie Sher's or my hold and that was last September. My have you grown, doing it all on your own! Thanks to you too, I get to practice with the effects before I use it on Tita Sheena. The primary picture up there helped me determine where the sun was setting so I could put Tita Sheena against it to capture her silhouette. Then there's a picture of your feet with your slip-ons afloating so I would set an inspiration for a feet medium shot. You were also Mommy's little apprentice when you borrowed the camera from my hand and took pictures of Tita Sheena, Ninang Mayang and Angel.
I feel a tad guilty having barged into Uncle Jerry's house like that. It wasn't how I intended it. I just wanted to have a place to keep our bags and had the van been waiting, we could have just skedaddled. Owing to your Uncle Jerry's ways of knighthood and gentleman-ness, he offered to cook dinner for us. They don't have much, you and I know that. They only have as much and enough for them and to impose ourselves was like toeing a certain line of respect. But he never runs out of ways to be generous and hospitable. Against my wishes of turning his offer down, he went ahead to prepare a sumptuous meal of bangus inihaw and humba and especially for you, he took a fish into a wonderful broth, which you unabashedly supped on with the ladle.
I thought with all the action going down, as Angel, James and you fell asleep in the van homeward bound, you would continue with the forty winks even in the hospital. But as I attempted to put you down, you were kicking and screaming my name. You regained the sprint that was normally "you", working yourself around Lolo's new room. They have now found a little more conducive room compared to the one they had yesterday. By the looks of it, he won't be out so soon. By the looks of it too, it served you right not to be listening to our warnings. When you ran out for fries form the bag 
Nahnang offered, and got bored from taking Lolo's pictures, you proceeded to his bedside and tinkered whatever your hands could get on. Unfortunately, it got on your hands, too. The table's faulty spring, gave, with your finger in the way - a lot of crying ensued, to cut it short. So, please listen next time, okay? But by the looks of how the pain was all too soon forgotten, we may as well forget that we had warned you.
We stayed at Kauswagan for a couple of reasons. One was my need 
to edit the day's shoot. Another was also to have a time to sit and talk it with Nahnang. I have to admit, I am rather worried about Lolo, I just don't show it much. Perhaps unlike Nahnang who cried when she confessed to feel blessed that the happenchance in her experience as a nursing student and nurse led to opportunities presented in these circumstances, I am worried of things elsewhere. I am worried about our half brother and sisters and the aunts and uncles from your Lolo's side. I was a little disappointed to see that they hadn't reacted since I posted a status on my 
Facebook about your Lolo and then it evolved into a concoction of emotions. Fear, maybe. Anger, maybe. Remorse, maybe. It was everything. Staying in Kauswagan, looking at Nahnang's creative assemblage of the Christmas tree dissuaded me from the thoughts. To see you recklessly snapping away with the camera, blabbing after Nahnang's talk as if you were mimicking her, helped all the more.
JAMantic of Day:
With the cold in the hospital room, Mamilou and Nahnang had to wear these cute socks, which according to you were "sots". This was in the hospital by the way, where you also pointed Colonel Sanders, KFC's main man, printed on the KFC bag, you said "Lolo". It's good that you associate anything with a little age, beard and the aura to be a grandfather even as the print was merely in red. At Kauswagan where wore Mamilou's night shirts, you spotted the strawberries and called "soobeesh."
Your Mommy,
This should be separate entry for the previous activities and antics that I had missed to report. As I said earlier, I cannot rely on my memory entirely as I sometimes feel it to be defective.
One is about the Facebook page for "365 Days of Strawberry Jam" which I created between the 15th. I was a bit preoccupied with a handful of things to start with the page. And since it was my first time, I was overwhelmed with the tasks and the number of people who immediately liked the page. I am thankful to Tita Lycel, Tito Noel, Mommy Senora and Tita Vani for being the first four people who liked our page the soonest they found out about it. I decided that since a number of my friends in Facebook who have taken a liking to you have grown since you debuted in my profile, I wanted to make a separate place where they can view your photos and get to know you better. We'll see how far this idea will go from here, okay?
Another is this new habit of yours. I'm not sure if it's right to call it habit but it's something to do with your eyes, which I've only seen in grown ups. You now know how to do the "sidelong glance". If memory serves me right, it was either on the 24th or 25th when you gave me a taste of it post shift. I had gotten up from the cafe to tell you and Mamala that it was time to go home when you stayed rather stationary in between Papalo's embrace. Mamala and Papalo were excited to tell you I was there but you didn't seem to match their animation. When I proceeded to move closer, you followed me with your gaze. Even as I went as far as the sink, your eyes moved to check me without moving your neck or your body. There, that's you're new antic!
Love,
Mommy
234 (and then some)Days of "Strawberry Jam" without "J"
Dear Jam,
Here's a little good morning look from you as you drank down a 2.5 dose of Cefalexin from the cup by yourself. Good girl! It's good that you have been so cooperative when it comes down to medicine administration because right now with everyone getting sick, I don't want to worry that this unyielding cough of yours will go elsewhere. I don't want that elsewhere to be the hospital as it is enough that Paddylou is admitted there right now.
Before we received any text message from 
Mamilou or Nahnang about Lolo's condition, you and I had a fabulous time with lunch. I say fabulous because you ate more than you normally do. I prepared a delicious brunch of fried fish, Gen San Tuna longganisa with a salad of tomatoes. You enjoyed the tomatoes that you took in little handfuls after every turn of fish and rice. You were even so kind to hand feed my share right to my mouth. Unfortunately that there was a mishap with having a picnic in the living room as you danced around scantily clad sans underwear. I am sorry to say that you peed on the floor and eventually on our food! Hahaha! I found it so hilarious. I think for a point there you got scared that I might scold. But you and I are past that, besides it was nearly anything as an accident, you can't control your bladder yet as much as you and I would have wanted.
I think I jumped in my seat when I received the message from Mamilou telling me about Lolo's 
emergency. He's old and that together with the idea of hospital and 
sickness, it isn't a matter to be shrugged off. He has been having quite some struggle with his COPD, I wonder what is going on now? I had to rush to do the chores as you lounged in the tub. You must have sensed my psychic distress signal for when I came back from putting the garbage out, you came out of the tub, out of the bathroom and found me with a worried look in your face. Thank you Baby, you could be such a sweetheart to me. I led you back to the bathroom to finish bathing, leaving a trail of nice bubbles on the floor.
Lolo is now admitted in Polymedic General Hospital where, almost two years ago, for the first 
time you broke into a cry that stirred the whole third floor and OR/DR complex. Now, you break into your first trot on the ramp. The moment we had gotten off the flight of ramps, you wanted to get back on it! But as you see, that cannot be because we had to be with Lolo. There hasn't been any reports yet but he had been taken in the hospital due to difficulty in breathing. This is something that you don't understand to be anything as serious as losing Meemeen or the need for milk but in a sense, it is something like that. This is serious. This may just be the first of many hospital admissions from this day until he and Mamilou grows older. Grow up fast and be a doctor! ;) But I don't think we need to wait for that because you looked like a convincing enough bedside physician or private nurse to him. You checked on the IV site and said "yayay" and even attempted to regulate the flow of his intravenous PNSS. But when you weren't doing that, you were either busily going over everyone's bags or earnestly figuring a way out of the door. Hopefully, Lolo will be discharged tomorrow. But that's just talk and until Dr. Villaraza gives word, we wouldn't know when he will get out.
Here you are fighting Nahnang off on our way out of the hospital. You insisted to be left alone to 
go down the ramp on your own. I would have gladly obliged had the ramp none of those guide strips where you might trip your still clumsy little steps and topple over, God forbid! Mommy could be so paranoid at times, so your Nahnang tells me. At work, Nohnong brought you with him to Carmen as I watched over the cafe. Mamala decided to close the FoodHauz off for the day so everyone is at Carmen.
ACCORDING TO NOHNONG:
You were so talkative on your way to and from Carmen. You were either repetitive about pointing every lighted store as "Jabee" or just talking nonstop about something. Withstanding the insignificant babble but altogether not understanding it, Nohnong said he merely nodded his head. He was so sweet to consider us on our way home. We passed by some festivity of voices and lighted "parols" at Limketkai, which you and I took quite a liking to. He asked me if we wanted to drive back and see what was going on. But I had told him not to bother, he was needed to wake up early to cover Papalo's Milo Marathon jog around the city. But that was really sweet of him. Had it been Daddy, he would have just told us "Let's head home." Hahah! Daddy isn't so adventurous with us sometimes unlike Nohnong but that's Daddy. And though I hate it, it's something of his character that I miss whenever he is not around.
At home, you and I had a little downtime. A Mommy-and-you-time. I decided to give the TV a rest so our eyes could take a rest as well. You didn't insist until later on, to which I owe presentation on your JAMantic of the Day. We went through the Brainy Baby numbers book from Ninang Jeng where you learned some new words. You learned to say kitten as "taten", monkey as "ankee" and worked your tongue through numbers one to ten and all the objects that represented these numbers like "take" (cake), "bode" (bird), "jips" (gifts), "nana" (banana), "dob" (dog), etc. I cannot commit everything to memory so I relied on my handy dandy cellphone voice recorder where you were a little more than timid to follow after me unlike how we started without the recorder. You were being shy on the recorder, were you? For later on when I played the recording back, you followed my voice as if I were actually talking to you and even scolded yourself for not repeating well after me. You told your recorded voice "sinaba", which was your rough estimation of "sige na ba", to mean "come on!".
I am not sure but it's a wild guess to say that your body clock has moved accordingly to mine 
when you were still well on the way of conception. I am an eternal night creature, nocturnal if you would have it that's why I easily found comfort in the call center life. Now, here we are almost two years from that. I can say that you really are my daughter. You would toss and turn in your effort to follow my requests to turn in. Seeing as this wasn't happening, I decided to read a magazine. But here's the thing, you wouldn't let me and you made it quite clear. How? We now had nothing but the lamp for light and everytime you would see me open the magazine, you would switch it off. It seems that you are keen to following Daddy's little instructions on keeping an eye on me. Like you, he didn't like me reading in poor light. You would say "No no yayt." to stop me from reading and *click* you would switch the light off. I would do it over again anyway to tease you. Haha! Earlier too, I was scolded by you as I danced in my undies. You shook your head and pointed my undies to tell me off "Dance. No no."
JAMantic of Day:
So aside from your late night munchies, demanding to eat handfuls of rice right out of the stainless pot, here is your cutest antic for today. Remember that I didn't want to have anything to do about the TV right? But you did. Eventually. You put on the best way to plead to me ever, kissing me, hugging me, prolonging the "peeeeeasee" in the sweetest way ever. "Meemeen peeeeasssse!" You wanted me to put Hello Kitty on. Had it been other than Hello Kitty, which we have seen at least everyday this week, I would have acquiesced. I asked "Nasad?" to mean "Again?" with a furrow of disbelief on my brows. You understood this and hiding your face in your pillows, you said shyly back, "sad." You were shy to admit to me that "Yes, Hello Kitty again, Mommy." Hahah!
Your Mommy,
Dear Jam,
afternoon, my shift, exactly! So I felt a little devastated. If that's right to say. I wanted to see her, especially since it was her birthday! Due to that we left home early and finally, passing by the apartment where Tita Dana and Kuya Gabe lived, I decided that we should pay them a little visit. It wasn't enough to pay off my feelings of excitement to attend Ninang Charissa's Pizza Party but it sufficed to becalm my longing for my college friends; Tita Dana, Ninang Hazel and Tita Mia. Kuya Gabe was sweet. Not that I am comparing him to your other acquaintances but I think he rather has an advantage being a lot older than you. This made your interaction with him easier and the two of you instantly clicked. Tita Dana recalled Iago's first birthday where the three of your first met, you, Iago and Kuya Gabe. The mommies were taking turns who among their boys' kiss you would be receptive to. Tita Dana remembered that you weren't as warm to Gabe as you were with little Iago. But that has changed today and this piece of picture where the two of you seem peaceable is proof enough. We couldn't stay long though, Tita Dana hoped you could have so she could take out the toys and have you play with Kuya Gabe and his cousins.
had a nagging feeling, I tell you. It was warning me to bring an umbrella in our person but I dismissed that seeing as the sun was high up, in fact blazing down upon us. Darned it! I should have listened to my good voice because before we reached the drop off point at the cafe, cats and dogs fell down without so much as a drizzle for a warning. Anyway, I had to improvise. I couldn't just let another irresponsibilty lead to another and get you sick so though we looked unforgivably laughable, I went with it anyway. I taped up a clean spare of diaper and wore it on your head as if it was a cap. We got the laughs but more of the concern actually that the kind lady who I used to find annoying with her unabashed remarks about you, me, Daddy, the people in the FoodHauz, took us in for a bit of shelter in her meager bananaque stall. She lent us with albeit battered and handle-less umbrella, it was helpful of her nonetheless. But just for laughs, I didn't take the diaper "cap" of to show Mamala and Papalo how unconventionally fashionable you still could be.
checks, you gestured to go down to the cafe, saying "poshe" to pose for my camera. You didn't pose but it was a good way to lure Mamala to get you to bother me. But you weren't a bother, you were just a little too insistent for the whole cafe to bear your screaming of "Meemeen Meemen" to watch me play PET SOCIETY. You also told me, pointing at your dress that when Nahnang sees it, she will say "Hi" to you. Your words exactly, "Nahnang desh. Hi baby!" and even changed your voice to mimic Nahnang's pitch as it goes up when she speaks to you.
too much energy going on. When we arrived, you took your Cars slip-ons
, wore them on and if that didn't fancy you, you banged them together like gloves in your hands just so they would light up. That's what they do, which you like the most, they light up. Anyways. I watched STRANGER THAN FICTION for myself while I left your in own devices. Once in a while I would catch you play "Mommy" with Crookshanks as you pretended with it how I usually tell you quietly off at night if you didn't want to sleep. I heard you say "Goodnight" to Crookshanks, being as it was the only audible and discernible sound, which was followed by mutters and you lying down on your pillow with your hand hiding your face. Then you would do it again and it was there that it came to me that you were acting as I would tell you "You don't want to sleep? Bahala ka. I will sleep now." and then pretend to sleep. Hahah! I didn't say anything about it and smiled about it to myself inwardly. Soon you got tired of being "Mommy" to Crookshanks so decided to play "Mommy" to Yayt, our cat lamp. You swayed it in your embrace as I would when I lull you to sleep in my arms. You improvised by singing Yayt a lullaby of your own "Bee bee bee bee Yayt. Bee bee bee bee Yayt. Meemeen." Your words exactly. I should have taken a video!
JaMOVIE: Pan's Labyrinth (with English Subtitles) FOUR STARS
be connected to the war as her mother remarries the bloodthirsty Spanish captain, carrying his son. It's just gruesome but whoever has the endurance to withstand (censored) bloodshed will surely not be disappointed of the ending. Thanks to Ice Cream flavored OREOS, you didn't fuss much unless Pan came up with his creepy tree-like raspy bass.
