TO: The ANGEL in my Womb
I didn't know it's been THAT long since I last wrote. I actually had a lot of thoughts while basking in the hiatus but I let myself get eaten away by depression because your Daddy hasn't texted or called yet. I hate entertaining these kid of thoughts, thoughts that he's purposely evading us. It infuriates me that I have respected this SPACE that we both live in and yet he wants to get away even with the smallest task of texting us at least once a week. I'm sorry, I'm not really that wretched but I don't totally rule out the possibility. I'm just bored and I guess especially when I don't have anything to preoccupy myself with. Like work.
I just hope he's not having the "Daddy Blues" they say it happens to Daddies who continue to work for both him and the Mommy who is on leave. They say that's when Daddies get cold feet and easily drawn to "temptation". The thought repels me. A possibility in this world I totally disagree with. And yet there is my undying, unfailing trust that wins over everything else. Instead I get too angry and worried that something bad might happen to him.
So much for that, speaking of "Daddies", my own father has turned back to drinking and I guess smoking, which he has so decidedly stopped from. There seems to be no mending this rift between him and me and my sister - it's difficult respecting a man who doesn't respect himself as others - as it is!
Biding my time in depression, after the books I've reportedly read, I've added Shakespeare's "Taming of the Shrew" and attempted to transcribe it to modern day and perhaps street English. The produce of this recent obsession lies unfinished between the book itself and my unattended drawing book. I've also read Paolo Coelho's touching novel "The Zahir", Ross King's dissection of the Sistine Chapel in a novel-like narrative "Michelangelo and the Pope's Ceiling" and presently, I am forcing myself through the "Machiavelli Covenant", which for sometime I have snubbed at the shelf. It's turning out with some interesting catch but the repetition of some ideas can't do anymore than bore me. "I'm bored" that's what your Ninang Jai and I agree to be. I guess I need to look for a hobby as soon as your Ninang goes back to school. I think I'm going to work on my "Angels and Demons" drawing (resurrection) in oil and on a bigger canvass.
FROM: Your-Mommy-in-Waiting
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