Friday, November 5, 2010

Before Being: October 27, 2008 (7:27 PM)

TO: The ANGEL in my Womb

Your Ate Yubii Kei is doing that whiny whimpering again and it wasn't until just earlier that I finally figured out what she wanted. She was doing the "fweep fweep" song at Mamilou when I had picked her up, carrying her over my shoulder like a sack that she soon subsided. I walked into our bedroom, carried her over to the mirror so that she can see her reflection, wiped off the stench of sweat from her underbelly with her towel and spoke some senses to her, which finally pacified her.

She misses her "baby" days when I used to carry her around, maybe she hasn't grown from it but when I spoke to her, I reminded her "Once Angel is out, we would have less of this rendezvous, so we might as well enjoy it now" and I think she got that. Anyway, since I've gone to Manila, my relationship with her hasn't been the same or maybe it's just like this right because she can sense that you are well on your way. But I don't want the two of you to get into that rivalry of attention - Rubii maybe well, just a dog but if not for her then I wouldn't have been prepared to be a parent. They say that kids who grow up with pets become responsible adults. Someday, I want you to start early with her, learning how to care for our aging Yubii Kei. I just pray Spunky and Choco would understand this, too. They have to understand that you're the "baby" now but that they are less loved in any way. Soon as you grow up, you'll realize this, true to the dictum "A Dog is a Man's best friend" - that is if we just know how we treat our friends. They can
be really helpful come stressful days or down times. I hope this can be a lesson. Oh well, I'm not saying this to discourage you to have any other kind of pets. I would love a cat but our health cannot permit it. Daddy and I are asthmatic and so is more than half of my family and his.

Speaking of asthma, your Mamilou's cough is getting worse as she gets old and I worry, you know. Her growing old - I dreaded the day seeing my own grandmother slow down until God took her away right before our very eyes. For me whose been through that and seeing Mamilou before who has been so monstrously strong and energetic in her youth, I don't know how I'd be when I see her slow down. Sometimes, I am secretly thankful that she could still nag at me and your Ninang, it means she still has that vigor in her.

Sorry for the brief interlude, the three just had to come in; Yubii, Spunky and Choco to enjoy some one minute of tummy rub and scratch. I sense that you kicked, I could guess either it was your way to agree or disagree with that little petting.

Anyway, today, I played the role of Ate Jocel because she went home. Ninang and I had to do some - I mean most of the chores; cook, feed the dogs, wash the dishes, clean and then some. It was tiring - I'm so tired but I still have that energy and I don't know why, it must be you. Well, you're still kicking right now. But that was a quick vacation for her and she just returned early this evening and so now I am thinking what to do to use up my time.

I should start my painting, that "Angels and Devils" piece. You know what the old sketch, the one that I originally did, for which I am to pattern this painting of a project, was a dream. Not metaphorically, but I really dreamed it when I was sleeping. I was highschool when I had it, I saw seven Angels pointing down to seven female Devils down at the ground. When I woke up the following day, I immediately sketched it and added a couple of ink to bring life and shadows to it. I don't know what it exactly means. But I know I have a mission - to get the message across, through drawing and my art. But I know it['s going to be a long process coz I stil have to make studies of near human figures. I wanna be able to give justice to the vision, make it a little more realistic than the sketch I did. Just like Michelangelo's drawing on the Sistine, yeah? If not, then at least I want to make it awe-inspiring. I know this is ambitious but God will help me, I know this is a mission. Wish me luck, Baby.

FROM: Your-Mommy-in-Waiting

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