Before Being: October 19, 2008 (7:30 PM)

TO: The ANGEL in my Womb

I guess I owe another apology for another "gap" and an apology for being so selfish; it's as if I'm the only one who is missing him, right? I am so crazy to even think why I ever got into pregnancy and I am ashamed to get a good row of admonition from my other - personalities. They tell me I'm not the only one whose given up their lifestyle for what I've wanted for so long. I guess I just needed to be reminded that I wanted this - I wanted you, I WANT YOU. Sulking in the thought that Daddy hasn't sent a text isn't reason enough to affect you. I feel so selfish right now.

The world doesn't revolve around me anymore - not all the time - no, it doesn't! It revolves around everyone! It revolves around the world!

Oh! What the hell am I talking about? Oh mi perdonato!

I can't let fear, jealousy and sadness get in the way. Oh darn! But I guess this is the way you are supposed to be made right? Now I sound nonsensical, I don't write in the same prose anymore.

I'm supposed to have been reading Shakespeare's "Taming of a Shrew" in his own words - and here I go, babbling like a common writer!

Anyway, I've read how people born in the year of the Ox - wait! Your Nahnang corrected me on what your Chinese Horoscope should be and unless you were to be born after a certain day in February, you will fall under the Year of the Rat. You will have the Rat sign, which will make you more like your Tito Raf! That would be a minute matter of relief for as you're definitely getting the sign of Capricorn (horned animal) and then being an Ox (more horns) is alarming enough thought. But I do welcome you to be a psychic. I think you have it in you. You do help sustain my energy when I read cards .

I've just been going over some DVDs and titles I haven't seen or paid attention to. I should say. It's bonding time for your Ninang and I since it is her semestral break. I've been drawing a lot too and reckon that I might want to invest on colored pencils, Staedtler colored pens and then some.

Let me park my pen here baby Love.

xOxOx from your Mommy...