Strawberry-No-Jam 013 Part 2 (

October 15, 2009
RUBIO RESIDENCES
Cagayan de Oro City

Dear Jam,

Daddy is well on his way to Manila, we just got back from the airport and now you're fast asleep without a fuss of a separation anxiety tantrum. You waved him as if you'd be seeing him again later only you said "Nah na" (No more) as his back disappeared into the entrance.

You know, it wasn't until we arrived home, when I opened the door, seeing the empty bed with some of his used clothes strewn where my eyes fell easily upon did I take the full blow of sadness. I wanted to cry but you were helpful to distract me with your sweet demand for "Deedee".

I think the feeling of loneliness is worse for me this time because unlike in Kauswagan, I couldn't walk up to Nahnang's room or bother Mamilou for a diversion. There's only the two of us here. I had thought that urgently driving Daddy away in my mind would make his every departure bearable for me but I was wrong. I need him somehow. Always. But you know, last night, when he was close to tears, he said I was luckier than he was being alone while I had you with me. I just got his text saying he's in the plane already.

Love, Maymah