Before Being: September 28, 2008

TO: The ANGEL in my Womb

It's long been overdue since my last entry.
But just a couple of pages more and I will have already accomplished BRAM STROKER'S "Dracula"; the original copy, which your Mamilou bought for me at a reasonable, nay, highly reasonable price of Php30. I find it interesting, as I've placed myself years before when reception to such ideas were shunned and yet Bram Stoker conjures a tasty design both in plot and dialogue; though I've ridiculed Stephanie Meyer's ideas whereupon the obvious is helplessly obscured - Bram Stoker turns me into an babe of his literature sort.

Your Ninang Jai has pointed out, a day last week, that as I've become this pregnant woman, a sister of hers - I've become the bookworm I never was. I never was, before. True, for after my fancy on "Pugad Baboy", I've turned to as many books I can devour in a week. In a day, I could manage to finish one thick novel and proceed to the next one. This is a known "Bajuyo" character. Although both Mamilou and your Lolo are fond, I would take this skill to be a rather stronger Bajuyo trait. I hope that though I'm not one to pressure, this characteristic will come to your aid for whatever purpose it may serve you.

Another turning point in my life right now, which I' d very much like to discuss is our involvement to the Devotion of our Lady of Manaoag. And and involvement indeed. Everyday since yesterday, until nine days have been accomplished, we sit with the choir and lead both the Holy Rosary and the mass. Afterward, a free meal would then reward our day. We've for two days, eaten dinner at Green Haven Vegetarian Restaurant. Your Ninang's stories if their (hers and Mamilou) participation in the occasion last year has kept my head forward. It's not the food or the restaurants but it's the experience of three women who once simply sat in the old Limketkai mall concourse where mass used to be served, there we would, without thinking of rewards, assisted the service. Since Mamilou has been appointed an outsourced Liturgical Facilitator, she has become what may be the right toe of the Limketkai administration. And it indeed is a great privilege as it is a duty to be part of the Sunday mass in the atrium where a large number of people can see you and appreciate you as an influential part of the event, where you can be allowed to move them with how you say the Psalms, verses, prayers and sing the songs. Mamliou is now every Sunday's commentator, your Ninang and I serve as readers and facilitators.

We have not heard from Daddy since he texted early in the morning. Many thoughts that disgust me, overwhelm me sometimes but I just push them away and say "I hope not". Soon when you grow up, you will understand what I mean. But know that it is in the pure intention of keeping our family intact that drives me to do this.

FROM: Your-Mommy-in-Waiting